You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
