There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
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Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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