My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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