I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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