Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
