mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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