No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
