Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
