He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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