And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
