HIV tests are more positive than that guy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
