people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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