There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
