Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize