You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
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Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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