I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
