Can i not drive my cunt home
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
