omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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