I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
