god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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