I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
