I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
