she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Everything about him screamed your future.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
