I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
