Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
