The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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