It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
