I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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