why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
