Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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