haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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