Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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