I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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