i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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