U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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