Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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