She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's official drugs can't kill me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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