great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You are a genius and a whore.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
