I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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