If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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