the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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