I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
