just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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