I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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