I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
