The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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