Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
