My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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