How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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