Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
