the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
