none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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