That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
