By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
