all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
