Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize