Jerry, you need to find god
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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