let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize