She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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