You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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