this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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