jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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