How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
