if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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