just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
