I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
