i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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