How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
