summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
